:)

As always it's been years since I've written a post. I'm slowly coming to terms with first deployment and new baby; needless to say I am overwhelmed and scared. I'm more scared of the fact that I will not know what I'm doing than the fact that my husband will be in Afghanistan for who knows how long. It's weird that I felt more confident raising my first child then I do my second, not because she's a girl but because I don't know how to go from loving and adoring my baby boy to doing the same for baby girl. It also doesn't help that husband keeps pointing out every time I put him first or make myself sound like I love him more. It's a scary and frustrating thing. I know when she arrives I will be so happy and everything will fall into place.

It's pretty possible that my husband will miss her birth but I am actually not scared because I know God will do what's best for my family and I. I'm putting all my faith into Him so that I know everything that can be done will be done. I plan on going home for a few months after he leaves. I swore I wouldn't because I didn't want to give up our house and I wanted to be independent but it's what's best for me and my kids. Also with the bs and drama that's been going on around here, getting away sounds pretty good. I can work on my independence when I get back, I just feel comfortable going home where I know I won't be alone. My big boy will love spending time with his cousins and family so it will definitely be worth it to see him happy and really interacting for a few months.

He is getting so smart! He knows how to count to ten, all of his ABC's, how to associate pictures with the right letter, and what each letter of the alphabet looks like. It amazes me how much they learn in just a day! One minute he says just a word and the next he's making sentences. We couldn't be any prouder of him:) He still refuses to acknowledge his sister or speak about her so we'll see how he reacts when she's really here. His dad is teaching him so many new things that I can't keep up. Today while I carved his pumpkin they played soccer and he plays pretty good, just like dad! He's definitely going on a team next summer. He can play football pretty well but we're not sure about basketball since we haven't actually owned one for a long time. I'm sure husband will work with him on it before he leaves.

Baby girl still has no name and I am starting to think she never will. We don't really have a list because we're both being so picky, he hates all my ideas and I hate his. I really would like to wait till she's born to name her but due to the circumstances that may not be an option. So we have to suck it up and get crackin' on it.

Yet another short but sweet post! I'm pretty sure I'll blog again in a few days (I hope).