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8/4/12

He's Almost Home!

As this deployment comes to a close I feel it's finally time to put in words how far I've come and how much I've grown as an individual these last 8 months. I feel that I've grown more as a mom than anything. My kids became the absolute center of my world, not that they always haven't been but my husband was no longer a physical factor. Everything thing I did was for them and to make sure they knew the love of their father. It wasn't so much the baby as it was the boy. He always was reminded that his dad loved and missed him. I thought he'd sort of slowly phase his dad out but that didn't happen in the least. Every single accomplishment and task had to involve daddy somehow and it truly amazed me. Baby girl is always amazed by his voice but I don't think she'll have any problem bonding with him when he's home. It may take a day or 2 but it will happen.

I never thought I'd make it through, especially after getting hit hard with postpartum depression. That was the hardest thing to overcome and it helped me learn so much about myself. I really tried to separate myself from my husband's career because I didn't want to be "one of those wives" but I never had the chance. This deployment gave me that chance, sure I rambled on about missing him but there was finally other things to talk about besides his job. It's been nice and I hope that when he's back I can still focus on things besides the Marine Corps.

I am proud that I was able to give our house a complete transformation. It no longer looks like it did a year ago. It finally has some "us" to it and it really feels like home. I hung the wedding pictures and bought so many cute decorations. He really won't believe it's the same house when he walks through the door. I have something that I can feel proud of because I did all of it without his help. There's still plenty more to do but I spaced it out so that it helps this little bit of time left fly by.

I'm really hoping to find a new hobby when he's home. I never appreciated my alone time until now and I will   definitely make the most of it as soon as I can. There's nothing that I have in mind yet but maybe I'll figure it out. I'm happy I discovered that I can handle things without always needing him. I always heavily depended on him but I feel like a big girl now lol. This has been a terrifying, lonely, sad but wonderful experience. I never thought I would say that last part because it didn't feel like that 4 months ago but I am thankful for being able to experience this and honestly I would do it again in a heartbeat.

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