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Our time together

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

1/8/12

So far

It's day 10 of this long journey and its been okay. Mom and shellie have been here to keep me distracted and help with the kids but I think all it did was numb me. It numbed me from facing the reality that I'm all alone and how much I really do miss him. The first day was so very hard because I just cried the whole time. What do you do when one day they're there and the next day they're on the other side of the world? Once that first day passed I was ready to move on and start living again but I just cannot get it together. No matter what I do I can't shake the feeling of chaos. Mom has been ap helpful with cleaning and getting the house together for me which should make it easier when they leave in the morning. I do not plan to do anything or go anywhere for at least a week just because I want to get my son back to normal again. He has so many daddy break downs and I am really struggling with what to do.

I can't stay home for too long though because I have to start preparing to go home. My father in law is flying in from Colorado on the 25th to help me drive back so I can visit for a few months. I really honestly don't know why I'm even going home, I guess its so our families can meet baby girl and so I'm not alone for the whole deployment. I have friends there but all they do is party and drink and I just can't do that anymore. It's not acceptable to me when I have 2 kids so I guess I'll be at my sisters or moms house most of the time. I'm not looking forward to all the fighting over the kids! We'll all be pulled in 500 different directions and that won't be any fun.

I feel our communication is starting to lack, a lot. We haven't skyped and we talk for a few minutes a day, if that. I know its not his fault and he's so busy trying to adjust because they keep switching his work schedule (assholes) but its beginning to take its toll on our son. He wonders why daddy left and why he can't talk to him and it just breaks my heart. I'm praying things work themselves out and he gets used to everything because we really need each other right now.

Well that's really it for now so until next time, bye!

1 comment:

  1. :0( I can't imagine how difficult that would be! Thinking of you love!

    ReplyDelete