All alone... Sorta

Friends... What does that even mean these days? It seems no one has that answer. Throughout my life there has never been one person (besides my sisters) that I could depend on, trust, and share all my deepest thoughts with. There have been some who came and went but no one has ever bothered to stick around. In school I always tended to float from one group of friends to the other but as soon as I got pregnant, I was alone. My then boyfriend left for boot camp and there I was my junior year in high school going through two life changing experiences, one on top of the other, with no one to share it with. I guess people felt scared? I'm not sure but that gave them no right to just abandon me in my hardest situation.Then the summer before senior year we got married and bam, all of a sudden I am a freak of nature! That's when everything stopped with everyone. No one asked to hang out with me, no one asked how I was doing, and they couldn't care less about my newborn son. That's when I decided that I couldn't wait to get away from all the idiots that were bringing me down. 


But then I entered the military wife life and it seemed to get worse. At least when I was home there was actual human interaction, but not here I was stuck in a one bedroom apartment with my 7 month old and no one to talk to. Even when I started to make friends it still didn't feel like the real deal. It was just a bunch of wives who gossiped and said things about each other behind their backs. I can honestly say my friend Sam is the only one who even comes close to what I wish for. She's always there and I feel like I've known her my whole life. I'm lucky to have her:) The thing I'm anticipating the most is that once hubby deploys, they'll all come running to be my best friend. Maybe because they're concerned (which I doubt) but mostly because they're just nosy people who want to know anything and everything. I haven't decided whether to be nice and just ignore them or be a bitch and tell them off ha! I'm sure it'll be the latter, mainly because I will be extremely crazy and hormonal with a newborn and toddler; so watch out!! 


It's hard to live this kind of life without friends but it's come to show that I have no choice since no one wants me! lol. My kids are all I need until the day hubby decides we can move home and be normal again. Friends.... How many of us have them? Not me.